Parenting is a very important process in your child’s growth and development. Therefore, you need to be extremely cautious when moulding him or her. So, what kind of parent are you?
Do any of the following descriptions fit you well?
- You expect your son or daughter to follow your rules without raising any eyebrows.
- You occupy the place of a king in their lives since your word is law.
- Your child’s opinion does not matter.
- You do enforce preset rules using the whip instead of discipline, better put as ruling with an iron fist.
If you exhibit any of these traits, yours is an authoritarian style.
You keep on ignoring your child’s views or feelings as you are more geared towards obedience and submission. Moreover, you make him or her remorseful for their mistakes.
This style has got pros and cons. Its advantages include: Your child is likely to recognize authority hence promoting good behaviour. S/he will also easily develop a sense of responsibility and a clear goal at a tender age.
On the other hand, your child is bound to experience low self -esteem, poor creativity and problem- solving skills. What is even worse is the dependency syndrome owing to your preset regulations.
Unlike authoritarian, authoritative parents aim at establishing a cordial relationship with their children. Thus, you take it in your stride to make your child understand the reasons behind your rules or standards, consider their views or feelings and use praises to enforce good behaviour.
The advantages of this style include:
a. Happy and successful children who adjust quite well to life’s demands.
b. Your child can make sound decisions for s/he can weigh a situation beforehand.
c. Authoritative parenting style also nurtures independence. Once your son or daughter matures, they can evaluate a situation on their own before arriving at a decision.
If you fall into this category, then your home is nothing less than a roller-coaster where children are free to do what they want. Neither rules nor dire consequences are set to regulate your child’s conduct. A permissive parent can only interfere in the event of a life-threatening case. His or her opinion is full of ‘let kids be kids’ attitude. Besides, s/he is more of a friend than a parent.
Its pros include a cordial relationship between parents and children, high self-esteem and independence.
However, its glaring demerits are failure to recognize authority, behavioural challenges and health risks such as obesity resulting from excessive freedom.
Parents in this category are often less concerned about their children’s whereabouts. They do not make a follow-up on their children or offer parental guidance. Uninvolved parents do not know their children’s character since they do not create time to do so. The children, neglected are forced to take care of themselves.
This care-free attitude in these parents may result from other challenges like stress, depression, work, ballooned bills to settle or drug and substance abuse.
Its disadvantages include self- esteem issues, poor academic results, behavioural challenges and extreme sadness in the child.
Worth noting is that sometimes your parenting style may cut across two or more of these. The most balanced style is authoritative.