Are you on the verge of a divorce or separation? You are not alone. So many people have walked down this very path. According to the data collected from the Government’s Survey of Family Growth, more than 20% of first time marriages end in divorce within the first five years. Besides, 48% of marriages end in divorce or separation after the 20- year threshold.
I know you are seeing the whole process as a big war laced with mad rage but it does not have to be that way. No! There are better ways of rocking the boat. You do not have to provoke the ghosts lest they will come back to haunt you.
No one enters into a marriage union expecting it to come tumbling down. The emotional and physical turmoil involved easily puts one off. That is why marriage counselors strongly advocate for a healthy break-up. Moreover, even though divorce unleashes numerous emotions ranging from anger to fear and anxiety, these feelings will eventually subside.
The most important thing you need to do is to show yourself compassion. You need not be too hard on yourself. After all, there is life after divorce and luck may smile your way unraveling a better package. Kindness and compassion will go a far way in helping you put up with the day to day difficulties that divorce drags along.
TIPS ON HOW TO DISSOLVE YOUR MARRIAGE IN A SMOOTH WAY
I. Co-operate fully and keep in touch with your spouse- no matter how difficult this may be it eases the pressure and speeds up the whole process. This will in turn save your time and energy! Effective communication will also incorporate both parties hence no one feels left out at the end of it all.
II. List all crucial details and points that you would like to discuss while you are full of tranquility. This list will act as a guide to help you recall all the fine details during the sit-down. Remember that it is extremely burdensome to recall them when emotions are running high.
III. Think of a break up as a peaceful way of resolving your conflict, not as a combat- this is simply because mediation is a better alternative to ending the stalemate compared to rigorous courtroom tussles. To add on, it enables you to experience emotional fulfillment, maintain a cordial relationship with your spouse and accommodate your children’s interests.
IV. If children are involved, it is your responsibility to ease the transition. Do not overhaul their old life overnight. Give them a few months’ notice before implementing any changes that may touch on their lives. You should also shield them from all the theatrics, bound to pop up.
V. Keep the door open to your spouse- divorcing couples should improvise a flexible plan that ensures continued co-parenting. Moreover, the children’s views and feelings should not be overlooked since they are the core of this entire saga.
VI. Take part in your hobbies or try new hobbies-this will re-energize you, ensure that you maintain physical fitness and help you break from the melodrama engulfing your life.
VII. Try joining a social support network or seek the services of a professional marriage counselor-this will help you cope with emotional trauma involved and adjust to any new changes.