The whole country was utterly shocked when the video of a 12-year-old from the Consolata school allegedly sent to another fellow pupil trended on social media. It was unbelievable that such a tender soul could utter such vitriol and even have the audacity to record the unprintables of such magnitude.For anyone who cared to listen it became clear that the 12-year-old had been exposed to really filthy content that early. Could he be the true representation of our adolescents? And if he is where could we have gone wrong as parents in imparting values to our children? It is on this backdrop that this article tries to sensitize parents their divine role of shaping the youngster’s behaviour.
What is adolescence?
Adolescence is the phase that marks the transition of growth and development between childhood and adulthood.
WHO defines an adolescent as any person between the ages of 10 and 19. It is obvious therefore that these are school-going children (those in primary and secondary schools)
Adolescence comes with rapid biological growth that sets sexual maturity. Boys will experience enlargement of gonads, pubic hair growth and then have nocturnal emissions at the age of about 14 years. For the girls, puberty may set in at the age of 8-13 years with breasts developing, pubic hair appearing, and the start of menstrual periods among other physical changes. With all these changes taking place, adolescents can be compared to young tender plants that are blossoming. Just like these plants, they will need good gardening and pruning for them to reach fruition or maturity successfully!
Due to these changes taking place in their bodies, most adolescents would feel “grown-ish.” They will demand freedom to engage in what pleases them. For instance, they may want to attend to parties, discos, some may want to experiment on early sex, drugs among other deviant behaviour.
What should parents and educators do to guide adolescents effectively?
1. Giving adolescents accurate information on sex. Sex education is very necessary. The parents and educators must offer correct information to counteract the inaccurate information given by their peers and some media outlets. All myths surrounding sex must be demystified to them early enough. This will make them avoid falling into pitfalls of ignorance.
2. Parents and educators must impose restrictions on adolescents. However, this may not go down well with them. They will feel gagged and curtailed from exercising their freedom. Therefore, initiating dialogue with them is the key. These restrictions are:
Access to explicit sexual images and pornography-t his means that gadgets like phones and computers should be availed to them after they exhibit responsibility.
Access to peers with questionable characters-parents should be aware of who their adolescents spend time with. Negative peer pressure is a serious factor that influences and ruins the lives of many adolescents.
Time restrictions-parents must always keep a tab on what their adolescents are up to. They must not be allowed to arrive home at dusk. They must be made to account for their time. This reduces the chances of engaging in ill behaviour. Permissiveness must never be given a chance when handling the adolescents for they are likely to exploit it much to the detriment of their young lives.
3. Parents and educators must role model for adolescents. Their character traits and mannerisms must be beyond reproach. Young people learn by imitating rather than what they are told. It is imperative therefore that educators and parents be appropriate role models to these youngsters.
4. Dialogue- educators and parents must develop the culture of talking to their adolescents and listening to them in turn. They should be friendly but firm. This creates an enabling environment for openness whenever the adolescents are facing challenges that they may want to share.
5. Love and care-parents must show love and affection to their adolescents. This is usually a difficult transition phase for them. They thus need love and assurance from their own parents as this will make them feel loved and cared for. This care will enable them to achieve their goals and grow into emotionally balanced adults.
6. Appropriate correction- there is a chance that adolescents may misbehave or go against the set rules. Parents and educators should appropriately correct them to discourage any recurrence. They can, for instance, withdraw favours and privileges.
