<p>Honourable Rebecca Kadage, the speaker of Ugandan parliament hit the headlines a few weeks ago when she directed the Members of Parliament to avoid any form of misdemeanour while attending the Commonwealth Parliamentary Conference in Uganda.</p>
<p>She categorically put more emphasis on table manners and cited an incident where one of the legislators choked during a presidential visit.</p>
<p>We may blame her for directing adults on what they should or should not do when it comes to table manners, but the fact is that Kenyans would rate the lowest in the rank of good table manners.</p>
<p>One of the critics suggests that the dining etiquette of the majority of the Kenyan population sucks.</p>
<p>The saddest part of it all is the fact that the poor eating habits have been revealed in social functions country-wide.</p>
<p><strong>SOCIAL FUNCTIONS</strong><br />
Just like any society, we Kenyans love social functions such as weddings or even funeral ceremonies given the availability of food in plenty.</p>
<p>Sadly, the success or failure of these ceremonies hugely depends on how we carry ourselves and the quantity and quality of food.</p>
<p>Many people’s reputation has been dented depending on the misdemeanour attached to table manners.</p>
<p><strong>UMBRELLA PRAYERS</strong><br />
It is high time Kenyans, especially ladies who get the privilege of praying for the food at social functions learnt to express a single prayer request.</p>
<p>Some of them, on the contrary, extend what should pass for a simple prayer for a meal to accommodate marital, financial and benediction prayers.</p>
<p>Funny enough, some of them even pray for elections which are far- fetched.</p>
<p>The drama is usually crowned by requesting “sinners” to come forward and declare Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.</p>
<p>This is highly unacceptable, learn to focus on one prayer request at a time please or else the people may lose their appetite.</p>
<p><strong>THE STAMPEDE-SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST</strong><br />
The end of the long-overdue prayer signals yet another phase laced with despicable behaviour.</p>
<p>You are likely to see a section of the crowd rushing towards the buffet line.<br />
If you dare block the way even for a second, you will be sorry for your poor and innocent toes.</p>
<p>It is as if the buffet presents a golden opportunity for folks to test the extent to which their bellies can stomach and how quickly their intestines can absorb the nutrients.</p>
<p>They eat as if their life depends on the amount of food they can gobble.</p>
<p><strong>RARE DELICACIES</strong><br />
It is very common to hear Kenyans howling abuses at the waiters and waitresses following a “negligible “amount of chicken, beef or mutton.</p>
<p>Those who are courteous enough only mutter curse words as a result of the little amount served to them.</p>
<p>Others throw caution to the wind and try to persuade the servers to ignore the allocated share and top up their plates.</p>
<p>Those who are bold enough carry two plates in the pretence of serving for a sick or an elderly person. This second helping in a way finds its way to their bottomless bellies.</p>
<p>They end up mixing all courses without following the correct procedure. Most buffets kick off with a starter/soup followed by the main course and last the dessert.</p>
<p><strong>CUTLERY</strong><br />
It is painful to acknowledge that the majority of the Kenyans are clueless when it comes to the use of cutlery.</p>
<p>They thus end up demonstrating clumsiness when using the tools of eating.</p>
<p>This may be as a result of the poverty-stricken homes that many of us emanate from.</p>
<p><strong>CHEWING TECHNIQUE</strong><br />
Do you know that many Kenyans do not appreciate the indispensable benefits that are attached to closed lips while chewing?</p>
<p>They thus publicise their mastication process for all en sundry to see.<br />
Such scenes are scary and simply disgusting!</p>
<p>My take: It is time table manners get constituted in our new curriculum-CBC.</p>

