Femivoice: How to “skin” that rat in the name of a cheat, different ways

Femivoice: How to “skin” that rat in the name of a cheat, different ways

This is how Nairobi women enjoy instead of enduring the presence of an unfaithful husband in their lives

Disclaimer: The ideas and views presented in this article are not a reflection of the values and principles of Newspro.

Are you tired of soaking your pillow and playing the naive, submissive wife whenever he comes home wearing an alien ghetto-like perfume?

Or do you wish you could decorate his side chick’s skin to somehow appear like that of a leopard?

Well, take a deep breath and relax. I am sure you would not wish to rot in a dungeon at Mathare after soaking someone in sulphuric acid or better still serve a life sentence at the infamous Kamiti Maximum prison praying and hoping for amnesty every day.

Nairobian women have devised  ingenious way of depleting their promiscuous husband’s bloated ego without leaving any trace that would incriminate them.

Below are five ways used by wives in Nairobi to tame their unfaithful spouses

1. Fine steel wool

Although this procedure demands for the patience of a cobra before its ripple effect strikes, it has worked for some women who felt betrayed by their unfaithful husband.

Trizah, a salon attendant confessed about spicing up her cheating spouse’s githeri with fine steel wool.

A few weeks later, Tommy, the alleged serial cheater was making more trips to the nutritionist in a week than to his mpango wa kando’s shanty in Kibera.

“Fine steel wool is a silent way of hitting back at a cheating spouse,” said Trizah.

According to her, there is no way Tommy could sneak into his clandestine’s shanty. He had enough bloating issues to handle compared to his lustful demands.

2. Bedding his best buddy

There is nothing more humiliating to a man than sharing the same honey pot with his best buddy, unwillingly.

Some women have managed to reduce their cheating spouses by ensuring that they go to bed with their husband’s best friend and ensuring that their husbands get wind of it in one way or the other.

3. Outsourcing kids

A survey released recently indicated that most men are raising kids whom they did not sire.

What a “sweet” way to teach that ungrateful randy he-goat a life-time lesson?

Imagine him cuddling a baby who does not belong to him all night long. What about providing for your outsourced baby starting from pampers to the graduation gown?

The worst part of all this melodrama will be when he gets to learn that the doctor or engineer who has just graduated has a DNA alien from that of his and his ancestors.

So humiliating isn’t it? However be cautious with this one. A husband can sow wild oats but a wife cannot swallow any.

4. “Mganga to the rescue”

When “friends to the rescue” formula is not working, “Mganga to the rescue” option is not far- fetched especially for “fundamentals” women from Ukambani.

A trip to the witchdoctor might cost her a fortune including both hell and heaven but it might bear fruit when the dude’s cock cannot crow outside “Nairobi city.”

This will force him to return to the city and serve it with utmost loyalty or risk being “in the cold” forever.

Disclaimer: The ideas and views presented in this article are not a reflection of the values and principles of Newspro.